libug na kau ko

ambot lng pero libog naman jd kau ko...i don't rally know what's the right deciosion krun.I mean, I'm really caught in the middle again and I think things are gonna make me insane.Char,over kau,,

Finally

ahmmm...I really dont know what to say...still,im quite confused...keeping myself busy helps a lot..

RRRRRRRRrrrrrr

Things are getting a lil bit harsh lately.Ala lng, gnahan rpd ko harsh.ashsihi,,,,,,,daghan ng members s arouse club................so tired studying my boring lessons......But atleast two weeks more to go nlang...May bukas pa...........ahaha

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppyyyyyyyyy.....

I really haven't slept a lot last night.But Still I have no regrets.ashishi......

Pylon Fever

I never felt so "belonged" ever before...It felt like I'm back home at last.

Missing you

This past few days has been a great battle that i fought..fighting the feeling of missing you is so tough.....Temptations are everywhere.......trust me lng po...

How?

"One last cry,one last cry.Before I leave it all behind."Goes a part of the lyrics of a familiar song.I guess that's it.I have to give my one last cry and put him out of my mind...but never in my heart.'Cause no matter what I do, there's still that connection between us that we cannot run nor hide.
Every sunrise that happens everyday gives me a very tiny hope that I can still be what I am before he came and influence every inch of me.It's a great battle I fought which really crushed my entire life.Never in my scariest dreams that this thing will happen.The truth always hunts me at night and kills me slowly.
I would like to start from the very beginning.When I am still alive.Not like this,a lifeless creature.I should be strong I know.But every piece of me aches in severe pain.The reality is here.I should accept that his existence makes my world miserable, and I must leave and rest for myself. The sad thing is, he is my world. How can i leave it?

I got a little upset today...I cried a lot.....

As of Now......

Things have really change and I like it a bit....My busy schedule is quite helpful indeed.I want things to be just this way I guess....But sometimes I can't help it,I just sit down in a corner and cry.Thinking of the little things I got behind me and just stare at nowhere for quite sometime.I've been so alone for about a month now and I'm starting to like it.I don't know.Maybe I just need a break.....

Coping...

It all started with a simple text message and ended with an awful crap.I do not usually regret with the things that made me happy in the past but with this fact which happened to me,I eventually did...

I'll Stay

I know this will be the hardest thing for me to forget and to go on on my journey.It's been weeks already.I really miss that someone.Someone who I can really call mine but I just neglected.And now,I know that no matter what I do,I can never have him back again.And no matter how I cry,it's too late already.Until now,I'll still exchange the whole world just to feel his existence,to feel his every breath,and to feel his every longing.I missed him a lot.But I know he can never be mine again.This has been the greatest mistake I've ever done.
I know life will never be the same again.This feeling inside me is killing ever inch of my soul.The path I'm taking right now is too tough for me to handle.We've have ended in such a way I never expected and it's torturing my young mind.He's too close and yet I cannot reach him.I want to be whole again...I cannot bare the pain I'm having right now.Things are too complicated and I cannot let go.Pieces of me are scattered,I can't find any of them.I want to be back to someone's side who can make me whole again.He have taken a the large part of me which I cannot have it back.I'm miserable.Totally crushed and broken.WE SAID LET GO,BUT I KEEP ON HANGING ON.INSIDE I KNOW IT'S OVER,YOU'RE REALLY GONE...BUT STILL,ILL STAY IN LOVE WITH YOU.....

My Debut Plans

Hi guyz!!! I already have my motif for my debut this coming july 11.......i decided that it will be an all-white party just like what we have on our acquaintance in CAS department last year.Unfortunately,I still don't have my final list on my 18 roses and candles.I'm pretty much excited about the fact in which to whom I'll be sharing my last dance on that night.Of course, I already have my clue but still everything can still change since I still have two more months to finalize everything.I am also nervous 'cause there are still a lot of things to prepare aside from the food or course. I decided to have Butterflies as my give aways and as for the invitation,I still don't have the layout.I am going to ask help from my friends about it and for that particular staff who will cover the whole event for me.I'm open for suggestions guyz....

Sizzling Summer

Wheew,its been terribly hot this passed few weeks.I'm so busy due to the summer league I've been facilitating.We started it last Sunday and it's been going quite fine.i don't still have the cash prizes though,hehehe....Being a SK chairman in our place is an enjoyable job, yet it can get you totally tired after a day of work.Its never easy in my part since I'm still a student and of course a minor.A lot of decision making will come across your way and they are really knocks your head off.But anyway,the position really helped me in my financial needs and it made me a stronger person indeed.I know God will help me.......Good day guyz.......

It's Complicated

Life is indeed a cycle.Once you've became very happy,eventually you'll become the saddest person afterwards.If you can't be that one,then you'll be the other thing instead.Sometimes we can ask,can I have what I want?
I never expected that we will end like this.The reason might be that heavy that I've already learned how to let go,still it damn hurts.It's not the love that has been gone,but it's the trust that has been broken.It's not that the memories are bad,but it's just too good for me to forget.It does not literarily means to forget the past,but to accept that it will now become a beautiful part of that past.It doesn't mean to forget him,but it's how to learn the art of letting go.
Holding on to someone knowing that he can never be totally yours is just letting yourself killed unintentionally.It's never easy to turn your back to someone you have been dreaming to spend your entire life with.But if that happiness gives an enormous pain in return,live it.It may be hard at first,but as time goes you'll know that you have made the right thing.
Giving your all doesn't mean you will die if you'll broke up.It only proves that you are a good person and it's already up to him to give the same.Your instinct will tell you when to go on,and when to stop.Pretending that you are still okay has never been an option to have a good relationship.Being blind is not a characteristic of love which is given by God.It sees but doesn't mind.Hence,we are just fooling ourselves.There's no one else who will be experiencing the ultimate consequence but still ourselves.Despite of the fact that we know this realization ,we always tend to prove that it is wrong until we experience it and say "i knew it that this will happen".
Blaming ourselves will come right after that,and wished we have took the other road behind.And the truth is here,nothing you can do about it,but just to cry out loud and hope that the pain won't last long.Not longer before you will give up.It's just like that,you just have to get up each time you fall.And life will reward you with someone better who will handle your heart as if it is his.TC ney.......

It's For You

Everyone of us dreams of a happy ending in our different unique stories.I also have my own,and I know you also have.It is just we do not know how will it flow and end as we all have want it to be.The funny thing about it is characters are keep on twisting their roles.Know what I mean?yeah I know you do.It is just hard to accept that the person you have always been giving your full trust will be just the one who will pull you down and crush you into million pieces.And yet,you still forgive that person with all those little pieces left.How are we so dumb-founded by those sad realities indeed.Eventually,we are starting to hate ourselves and and the way we think.Ooh,such an awful agony you'll be experiencing...But you should think that its not that bad after all. They are still your old friends to whom you have spent many years together, even in some ways they have caused you a terrible pain in which you think you can't bear anymore.I'll never barter that friendship into a cheap issue I know I can overcome with.I may not give my forgiveness now,but I know someday I can.The only permanent thing in this world is change which only tells me that this pain I'm experiencing now will just vanish and it will let me start all over again.The trust may never be regained, but the memories of that trust I have given will always be kept.

Can't Understand Either

Life can be so tough and it can be a complete picture of the other thing around.Of course,we always think that it is always unfair,right?Like me,I've always wanted everything to be on my own way and in such a convenient one.But unfortunately,things just got their own way of showing theirselves which are really unfavorable for me,I guess.Just what Hagrid,a famous character in Harry Potter series,"What's coming will come,and we will meet them when it does".In my everyday life,I've been searching those answers that bugged me every now and then,which I think can satisfy me to end my agony.Why do things go on that way,what if I've done that.....oohhh,it just can't get passed through my brain.But well, I can't do anything about it unless I will take into account what Dumbledore said "Understanding is the first step to acceptance,and only with acceptance can there be recovery".Which I think have its weight.