update

Correction diay!!

My my microbiology exam is not a laboratory exam...but a MIDTERM EXAM!

What the...

What a day>>

Sh-t! I am so damn mad right now. The day started so bad that it drove me freaking angry with all the people around me! A total b—lsh-t and a terrible mess>>>!!!rrrRRRRrrr.. I SO HATE

· The laundry shop which kept me waiting for my washed clothes for about an hour.

· ______ for being so slow on fixing herself and for that

· We are very late in the lecture in SU about biology

· I saw the girl from our town that I hate

· _____ lost our visitor’s pass so we still have to convince the guard to give us our id’s and the one who lost it will be just the one who will look for it. (unfortunately, she didn’t found it!)

· I haven’t returned the soil kit to DA and no one’s even a little concerned to help me with that!

· I spilled my viand all over my shirt..waaaAAAAAAAAhhhhh….!!

· We just had a fight with my Bf and he just slept over it.

· My sister kept the cleaning kit of my lappy and forgot where she put it. (My lappy is very much dusty!!)

And to finish it all. I cried..a Lot…

oOOps I forgot..

I have a laboratory exam this afternoon. F-ck!!! Where’s my notes!?!

Someone borrowed it..Yeah right..

Perfect.

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Oh my….

“Everything's over but the tears, whether it's tears of sorrow or joy is a matter for you to decide. When the last straw falls, you might finally reconcile a painful past that could exist more in your head than in reality. Regardless of where the fear lies, its effect on your love life is still valid and powerful. The impact of letting memories keep you down may be severe, especially if you roll over and play dead. All good and bad things must come to an end. This might be the time for you to learn to let go of old wounds, heartbreak and injustices that could be hurting or controlling your relationships. The ensuing release, relief or liberation that arrives after this key realization can leave you free to begin again and undertake a new chapter in your relationship or love life.”

- So true… it’s from my tarot again.

That’s it. I know. Since from the start I already knew that time like this will come. The funny thing is some incidents in life just like this tarot I have makes everything a little more concrete than it usually be. Lately, I already decided to let go but not completely ended the bitter past. After then, I read this on my email. Well, maybe it’s just a coincident, but then, it had all the true things I want to express: letting go, starting all over again, healing the wounds and injustices, and stop being so dead over him.

So maybe, this is really the right time to relieve myself from the fantasies I have in my mind. Be in reality and be human again. Tsk, tsk…

Little by little, I am now learning how to love myself again. I'm taking it one step at a time and having very careful moves as to protect myself from crushing again. Little by little, I learned how to move on, how to smile the real smile I've been missing, and to give life its another try.

I have been so unfair with all the special friends that I have been with while I am still picking myself up. I'm done with picking up the little pieces of me, I am now fixing my own self which I think is much harder than I thought it would be. And now, I'll just think that everyday would be my last as to make it perfect and memorable. I felt so sorry with all the things that I have done to them,They do not deserve what I have done. But all I can do now is regret for using them to relieve my sorrow and pain I been keeping inside.

Neglecting what would they feel means nothing to me before just to ease the scorching pain I feel. It took me a long time just to realize that these things are not their responsibilities as to take the same fate I am going through. I regretted, but it's too late. That someone who's responsible for breaking my heart influenced me a lot up to the point of hurting others.

After a year of fooling around and crying over him the whole time, I think I have finally found someone who can make me stay and be happy again. Even though everything is not yet that stable, I think and I can feel that i would be settled down once again. The feeling is so unexpected for I thought that I am already very numb and emotionless. I just woke up one day being so in love with him, and hoping that our love love story won't end at all.



I found someone who's going to wipe my tears now. At last.

brdm8z!

I am always obsessed and paranoid about pets and other living chuvanes that I can take good care of. I feel so inspired and stress free when I am close to nature and having long trips along the greeny and healthful environment.

The fresh and relaxing cool breeze soothes deep in my skin that can really ease every pain and problems that I always keep inside me. Haiii... I wish I could stay long out there in the woods reminiscing all the happy moments I had in my life.

Anyways, before I could say something very dramatic again, the real purpose of this post is to introduce to you guyz with my new friends here in my room. They really don't give me boring moments here in my boarding house and giving me an opportunity to appreciate nature instead.

Meet my Friend KUY!

And the whole group!!! ang mga d'barkadz na mga wla pang pangalan... help me name my new friends plzz...

Ribbons

Exams, midterms, quizzes, reports...Duh.. These things knocks my head off!! I have to study piles and piles of books just to pass every subject that I am taking up now. The topics are so broad that I don't even know where to start reading.

My eyebags now are so heavy that it already drops on the floor and the best thing to do with them is to make ribbons out of my cute blackish eyebags. Whew! so busy that I only got 3-5 hour sleep every night lastweek. My animal developmental subject really punishes my whole being. Drawing specimens out of what you are looking under the microscope for several hours really makes my eyes bulge and things will really get blurry afterwards.

Eventhough midterm exams are going on last week, my microbiology laboratory works must also be done on the same week. Having cultures of several bacteria is a good experience for me and my classmates but the experiments were a total hassle.

All I know now is to keep on striving hard and to stay on focus. Even though sometimes I read my lessons just for the sake of reading, I must always keep the fire burning inside me and be who I want to be someday.