I never felt so "belonged" ever before...It felt like I'm back home at last.
Missing you
This past few days has been a great battle that i fought..fighting the feeling of missing you is so tough.....Temptations are everywhere.......trust me lng po...
How?
"One last cry,one last cry.Before I leave it all behind."Goes a part of the lyrics of a familiar song.I guess that's it.I have to give my one last cry and put him out of my mind...but never in my heart.'Cause no matter what I do, there's still that connection between us that we cannot run nor hide.
Every sunrise that happens everyday gives me a very tiny hope that I can still be what I am before he came and influence every inch of me.It's a great battle I fought which really crushed my entire life.Never in my scariest dreams that this thing will happen.The truth always hunts me at night and kills me slowly.
I would like to start from the very beginning.When I am still alive.Not like this,a lifeless creature.I should be strong I know.But every piece of me aches in severe pain.The reality is here.I should accept that his existence makes my world miserable, and I must leave and rest for myself. The sad thing is, he is my world. How can i leave it?
Every sunrise that happens everyday gives me a very tiny hope that I can still be what I am before he came and influence every inch of me.It's a great battle I fought which really crushed my entire life.Never in my scariest dreams that this thing will happen.The truth always hunts me at night and kills me slowly.
I would like to start from the very beginning.When I am still alive.Not like this,a lifeless creature.I should be strong I know.But every piece of me aches in severe pain.The reality is here.I should accept that his existence makes my world miserable, and I must leave and rest for myself. The sad thing is, he is my world. How can i leave it?
As of Now......
Things have really change and I like it a bit....My busy schedule is quite helpful indeed.I want things to be just this way I guess....But sometimes I can't help it,I just sit down in a corner and cry.Thinking of the little things I got behind me and just stare at nowhere for quite sometime.I've been so alone for about a month now and I'm starting to like it.I don't know.Maybe I just need a break.....
Coping...
It all started with a simple text message and ended with an awful crap.I do not usually regret with the things that made me happy in the past but with this fact which happened to me,I eventually did...
I'll Stay
I know this will be the hardest thing for me to forget and to go on on my journey.It's been weeks already.I really miss that someone.Someone who I can really call mine but I just neglected.And now,I know that no matter what I do,I can never have him back again.And no matter how I cry,it's too late already.Until now,I'll still exchange the whole world just to feel his existence,to feel his every breath,and to feel his every longing.I missed him a lot.But I know he can never be mine again.This has been the greatest mistake I've ever done.
I know life will never be the same again.This feeling inside me is killing ever inch of my soul.The path I'm taking right now is too tough for me to handle.We've have ended in such a way I never expected and it's torturing my young mind.He's too close and yet I cannot reach him.I want to be whole again...I cannot bare the pain I'm having right now.Things are too complicated and I cannot let go.Pieces of me are scattered,I can't find any of them.I want to be back to someone's side who can make me whole again.He have taken a the large part of me which I cannot have it back.I'm miserable.Totally crushed and broken.WE SAID LET GO,BUT I KEEP ON HANGING ON.INSIDE I KNOW IT'S OVER,YOU'RE REALLY GONE...BUT STILL,ILL STAY IN LOVE WITH YOU.....
I know life will never be the same again.This feeling inside me is killing ever inch of my soul.The path I'm taking right now is too tough for me to handle.We've have ended in such a way I never expected and it's torturing my young mind.He's too close and yet I cannot reach him.I want to be whole again...I cannot bare the pain I'm having right now.Things are too complicated and I cannot let go.Pieces of me are scattered,I can't find any of them.I want to be back to someone's side who can make me whole again.He have taken a the large part of me which I cannot have it back.I'm miserable.Totally crushed and broken.WE SAID LET GO,BUT I KEEP ON HANGING ON.INSIDE I KNOW IT'S OVER,YOU'RE REALLY GONE...BUT STILL,ILL STAY IN LOVE WITH YOU.....
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